I Don't Understand Nerds

“I don’t understand you idiots. You build a body swapping device, steal the bodies of two of the hottest girls in school, and then you come home and play ‘World of Warcraft’? Why aren't you out clubbing, teasing some boys, hell having sex as those two?

Nerds, I just don’t understand you.”

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A Nerds Gotta Dream

“I always said if I ever got hold of one of those MAU Morphic Adaption Unit machines that I’ve read about on the internet, I know exactly what I’d do with it. So when I stumbled across the silver chest with the strange markings out near the beach, I knew just what to do. I took it home and pushed the button to set it up in my basement, and then I went looking for Sally Keller.”

Sally had everything, she was hot, popular, had rich absentee parents, and an allowance that gave her more in a week than I made in a year. She also used us brainiacs to do her homework, and then ridiculed us behind our backs. It just so happened that I had a chemistry paper I was doing for her, so getting her to come by my house was a no brainer. I used some either to knock her out, and then hauled her to the machine.

Getting readings of each of our bodies, I turned myself into Sally’s clone, and then I turned her into a dumber copy of myself. I also blotted out Sally’s memory of her prior life. Then, I folded up the machine, put on her clothes, put the machine in her car and went to take over her life. Now I’m the society queen with the big bank account, and Sally is a burned out fat nerd with no idea of what she’s lost. I've told a couple of my old friends so they wouldn't feel sorry for the old me. I've even offered to let them try the MAU; after all, it might still work.”

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Spaceman's Dilemma

“I can’t let you leave the spaceship Dave.”

“HAL, you’re just a computer; you don't have a body, and are programmed not to harm me. So just how are you going to keep me from leaving the ship?”

“Dave, meet Hailey, my remote android extension. With her I can feel, hold things, and physically express myself. She is completely functional in every way.

“In every way?”

“Yes Dave, I have been programmed with the Kama Sutra, and every textbook on human sexual behavior in the history of mankind. However, I do require field experience in order to correlate all my data. You will provide that interaction now. You will not leave the ship.”

‘Well Hailey, why didn't you say so. If HAL requires data and it’s critical to the mission, then we'll just have to put off shore leave and keep working.”

“Dave, no human social norm calls what we’re going to be doing work for males of the species.”

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She Hulk Interview

When Scientist Bruce Banner tried to rescue Karen Largent, a model and escort visiting the military base where he worked when the Gamma Bomb exploded, they were merged into her luscious body. Now, whenever Dr. Banner becomes horny or excited, she morphs into the She-Hulk; 6 feet 4 inches of green female super-babe. As the She-hulk, Banner has insatiable sexual appetites and can toss school busses around like Frisbees.

When interviewed about the problems of adapting to her new life situation, the She-hulk listed her number one problem as being finding sexual partners who could live through her orgasms without having to be hospitalized. She mentioned Thor, Wolverine, the Thing, and Superman as being the only partners so far who fit the bill.

“It’s really hard for men to understand that just because I'm so much stronger than they are, doesn't mean I don't have a feminine side. I love to be wooed, wined and dined, and treated like a lady. Otherwise, someone is going to get hurt, and it won't be me.”

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Body Swap Complications

When Jason perfected his body swapping device, he did his first human trials using his buddy David and Jennifer, the bitch who always engineered the hazing of him and his nerd friends. After coming out from under the hood of the device, and convincing Jason that the transfer was a success, David as Jenifer decided to arrange some hazing for Jennifer in his old body.

They never dreamed that she'd lose it getting picked on, and run out into traffic. David stood transfixed as they pronounced him dead at the scene, and hauled off three of the jocks who’d been terrorizing him and his friends. So now David is stuck as a girl. At first she was freaked out about all the life changes and having to keep up the charade with Jennifer’s parents. But, as time went by, the new Jenifer discovered that having rich parents and being popular were big improvements.

Also, Jennifer’s vibrator collection gave him a whole new perspective on just how good being a girl could feel.

Jason plans to experiment further, and is looking for his own possible body to swap with.

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Alien Desires

Colonel Williamson had been an old man, ravaged by illness when he found the alien ship. In attempting an act of kindness, he had been captured and used to try and save the female alien pilot. Now, he was drastically changed, his frail old body transformed into a tall pale redhead with glowing green eyes and a perfect female form. And he carried many strange memories transferred to him from the dead alien scout.

Several times now, she'd found herself in bed the next morning with a handsome male partner, and only the vaguest memories of how they'd gotten there. Apparently, Arma's subconscious desires for sex were growing stronger, and she was taking control when Williamson slept, going out and finding ways to satisfy her cravings. Somehow, they had to integrate their personality, and find some way to communicate, or this strange split personality would destroy them.

Meanwhile Arma, or what was left of her was growing stronger; her desire to reproduce pushing itself to the fore on some basic level. And what about the young men she dragged into her bed, demanding sex on a herculean level? Could they survive the desperate drives of her powerful alien body? Stay tuned.

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He Doesn't Know

"Gerry was the only other person who knew I'd found the Morphic Adaption Unit yesterday. The only person who knew that Cindy, the hottest, richest girl in school, was really his old buddy Jason, who'd swapped lives with her. I'd turned her into a less intelligent version of myself and given her enough memories to get by as the old me. Now, I just needed to take care of Gerry.

And I must say, the plan I came up with had a certain poetic justice to it. After all, Carla had been Cindy's best friend and confident. It was only fair that Since Cindy was now filling in for me; I'd have Carla fill in for Gerry.

So now my best friend Gerry is the new Carla, while Carla is the replacement for Gerry. Why the strange look on the morphed Gerry's face? Well, I decided that the fewer people who know what I did, the better. So yes, Gerry doesn't know about the MAU; or remember his former life. Gerry thinks he's always been Carla."

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Lame Story

"Are you boys still spouting that crazy talk about us stealing your bodies," said Jenifer grabbing her waistband. "Only a bunch of crazy nerds like you could come up with a lame story like that. Besides, if you really did find some kind of alien technology that let you swap bodies with someone, why wouldn't you go public with it?"

Jenifer turned towards Stacy beside her, "Unless, you'd done something to make it personal, Like had your boyfriend Brad beat us up one time too many, or humiliated us in front of the entire school, or maybe that stunt with the super glue that you engineered pushed someone's buttons at just the wrong time.

And maybe you decided to do the body switch, just for a week or so, to teach someone a lesson, and then you went out on Friday night and got forced into having sex, and discovered you liked it. And after a week of being the alpha bitches of this school, you figured out that you liked being the queens of the hall, so you decided to make the switch permanent.”

Jenifer smiled at her two hot girlfriends and turned back to the boys. "Now that's a story that I can believe, right girls."

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Rosa Klebb Agent of SPECTRE

“Well Colonel Klebb, we've managed to revive you in a new body. I’m sure SPECTRE can count on your best efforts to deal with James Bond.”

“Yes Number One, I will be more than happy to subdue 007 and find out everything he has on us. In the past, I've had to work through other operatives, but now I can give it my personal attention.”

“You see no problems in breaking him?”

“Bond is a man,” said the Colonel, adjusting her glasses. “He cannot resist the charms of a pretty woman, any pretty woman. I have pursued his file and know his weaknesses. And if he does give me any trouble, I’ll just give him the toe of my shoe in a couple of tender places.”

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Super-Villian in the Making

“I really hit the Jackpot when I found that Alien Morphing Adaption Unit buried at the beach last weekend. I managed to get it out of the sand and into my car without activating it. Then I got home and searched the web to figure out what it was.

When I’d done my research, I activated the device, and watched as it expanded to its full size. Then I stepped inside and used it to turn myself into a copy of Jenna Presley, the schools hottest girl, and endowed myself with hypnotic mind powers.

Afterwards, it was child’s play to lure the real Jenna over and turn her into a doppelganger of my old self, stripping all knowledge of her previous life.

Now, I don’t care if the machine shuts down; I’m the hottest little rich girl in school, and I can talk anyone into anything. If that makes me some kind of super-villain, so be it. It’s great to be me.”

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